you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
