Non-Jews are for practice
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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