I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
