walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
