i don't like sucking hair
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
