it wasn't lemon gatorade
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize