Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
