Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
