I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
