she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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