at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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