Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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