I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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