brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
