She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
