at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
