Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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