week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
sex in a hospital.. check
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
