Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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