Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
