ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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