She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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