We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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