Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
