we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
