fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
