Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
