My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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