Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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