friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
