So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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