Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
