terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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