I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
