he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize