Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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