spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
