That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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