Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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