i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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