well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
