All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
