do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
