it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
