Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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