i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I party with great urgency now.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
