I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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