yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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