Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
