i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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