fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
