its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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