His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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