Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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