i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
