Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
