Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We don't watch enough power rangers
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize