Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
