moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
