My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
