went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
