lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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