We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
